I did it. I caused the fall of man from God’s grace today. It was so simple. Eve was incredibly gullible. I crawled into a snake’s mouth, possessed it, and just chatted her into doing literally the one thing God said that she couldn’t do. I just pretended to have already tried the fruit from the Forbidden Tree and told her “‘Goddess humane, reach then, and freely taste.’ (Milton 9.732) How simple was that? Take that God! You may have have banished me, but I won in the end hahahahahaha!!!Image

I’ve decided to use Eve to bring about the fall of man. Adam is too stubborn and blindly devoted to God, but Eve is a little more open minded hehehehe. I’m sure that with some coaxing she’ll eventually come around. I’m going to corrupt her and pervert this beautiful world that God created. It was only yesterday that I was “Squat like a toad, close at the ear of Eve;/ Assaying by [my] devilish art to reach/ The organs of her fancy…” (Milton 4.800- 803) until Gabriel chased me away. No matter, I will get to her eventually.Image

Today while I was lurking around in the garden of Eden, I spotted two strange creatures made in the likeness of God. Eden is such a beautiful place, and they are such graceful inhabitants. They looked so happy in each other’s arms, and here I am alone, banished to Hell for all eternity. What a ” Sight hateful, sight tormenting! Thus these two/ Imparadised in one another’s arms/ The happier Eden, shall enjoy their fill/ Of bliss on bliss, while I to Hell am thrust,/ Where neither joy nor love, but fierce desire,/ Among other torments not the least,/ Still unfullfilled with pain of longing pines…” (Milton 4.505- 511) I’m so jealous! I wish I had an Eve for myself too.Image

Please, can I be forgiven? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of it. Is there “…no place/ left for repentance, none for pardon left?/ None left but by submission; and that word/ Disdain forbids me, and my dread of shame…” (Milton 4.79- 82) I don’t want to be alone anymore, but I can’t submit to God either. The shame would be too much. What would my soldiers think of me? What would God think of me afterwards? I couldn’t do that. That’s too much to ask of me. I guess I’ll have to get used to this 😦 Image

I can’t take it anymore. Who was I kidding? I can’t stand to be out of Heaven and away from God. I can’t escape this misery no matter where I go. I don’t know “Which way shall I fly/ Infinite wrath, and infinite despair?/ Which way I fly is Hell; myself am Hell;/ And in the lowest deep a lower deep/ Still threat’ning to devour me opens wide…” (Milton 4.73- 77) If only I knew how to end my suffering…Image

Man, I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Being stuck in Hell is really starting to take its toll on me. I left for a bit to go scout out Earth and its inhabitants and I saw the sun for the first time since being cast down. I “…hate [its] beams/ That bring to my remembrance from what state/ I fell, how glorious once above [its] sphere…” (Milton 4.37- 38) I’m really starting to regret waging war with God. I guess I was out of line…Image

Also, how is this my fault? He’s the omniscient one. He saw this coming and he knew what I would do. It’s his fault for creating me like this. He may say that “Sufficient to have stood, though free to fall./ Such I created all th’ ethereal Powers/ And Spirits, both them who stood and them who filed…” (Milton 3.99- 101) but he clearly misjudged how sufficient I was to have stood. Why couldn’t he have made me unswayable in my devotion to him?Image